The Still Voice... an unfinished entry from Ireland

The Still Voice (from the brown leather journal during one of my visits to Ireland)

4.25.2002

There is life in love and there is love in life. So why do we cry? Why do we not look to life and let it smile back at us, filling our hearts and souls with that which is the substance of all that is? Why do we torture ourselves by looking for that which is already within us? Why do we resist that which is readily available to us at any given moment?

A day was passing badly for a man, a man who was caught in a cyclical pattern of slipping in and out of reality, moving back and forth between the delusional material world to the world of spirit. This man, who was caught up in the anxiety of trying to split his world into two distinctly different planes of existence, the spiritual and the everyday physical world - one day deeply spiritual, the next chasing a material dream – found himself walking the streets of an Irish town while, with each step upon the cobbled sidewalks, feeling the pangs of anxiety whose catalyst was the spotlight shed by the opininons of others in judgement of the character who felt himself a fraud all the many years of his life. Then, before the next step could fall upon the cobbles beneath his feet, suddenly awoke to the voice that was gaining strength daily in his being – the voice that comes welling up from the unspoken still-world of the soul and spirit. The voice came forth from the soul of the man knowing full well that no longer could it remain still and silent, for it knew that it was finally time to push the lad that one last step from the delusions that drove his anxieties into the one true reality of along the east coast … [I was distracted by something and didn’t get a chance to finish this journal entry]

Contemplation in Suzhou

Suzhou.China

6:20 PM Starbucks-GuanXianJie

Conflicted, I sit and contemplate my life’s journey as I pass the mid-point of the China Project. Part of me feels I should focus my efforts and my energy on unveiling my inner being (true ‘self’) through meditation and practice of highest virtues, and part of me feels I should live at break-neck speed on the edge while fulfilling (or trying to fulfill) all my desires, going after every ‘piece of tail’ I can.

I realize, however, that the happiest and freest I have been is when I have foregone and transcended all pleasures, all desires, all pains and emotions. One might think such a state would leave one in a state of numbness, but, on the contrary, it is a true state of bliss where you can feel all the world flowing through you at once. It is a bliss I have been privileged enough to experience; only to let it slip away as I succumbed, again and again, to the temptations that presented themselves over and over again – often (most often) at my behest.

So now I once again sit in conflicted contemplation of where I am at (in ‘being’) and where I am going.

I guess I should just relax and just ‘be’ – flowing along in my little boat (life vessel) merrily down the stream.

Focusing on The Path

- Singapore -

Focusing on our true nature, the essence of our being, is key in staying focused on the path. Too often we slip off the path because we either don't have the time or energy to focus on unveiling the "self", or, we start to make significant strides along the path, start to move beyond our suffering and even experience the miracles of an unveiled soul, so we think we are done, that we have reached the top of the mountain, and, consequently, shift our focus away from the path. But these departures from the path are always premature (unless, of course, we happen to become enlightened along the way… which is possible, but highly unlikely) and because they are premature, they inevitably lead back to the same type of suffering we had worked so hard to over come in the first place.

The key, of course, is to realize that the path has no final destination. The path itself is the destination because it provides the avenue to realizing our true nature, and the experience of unveiling that nature, while also providing the experience of experience itself, which is why we exist at all.

Life’s experience on the path is the goal, it is the destination. So don’t lose it!

Death Seems Always Lurking

– Singapore –

Death seems always close at hand.

Death seems to lurk in every shadow, around every corner, in every alley way, in every darkened doorway. So I must heed the presence of death.

Since I have already died (was supposed to have died) back in 1999, each and every day is extra; each and every day is a day that has been bestowed upon me as a miraculous gift from God. So I must take that gift and make the most of it each and every day.

There is no time for timidity, sorrow or fear. There is only time for living aggressively, on the edge.

I must focus on the Now and not worry about the past or the future. There is no stock in this type of behavior, this type of thinking, this type of feeling. There is only time for moving ahead, making the most of now and the interaction with my fellow humans.

Living life to its fullest means I am also my best for my lovable Sugie – my wife and emotional savior. I owe her my life and devote myself to her completely; her happiness is my happiness.

Just Being...

Just Being...

Here and now...

Focus on what you are at your core...